From Inside My Head

At the end of my junior year I promised myself that my senior year would be better than my first three years of high school. I didn’t keep my promise; I am still dealing with some of the same issues and problems that I dealt with in the years before. I am wondering where the heck my dad is and why I haven’t seen him……. Does he really care about me…... Will he be there for my graduation? I keep asking myself why my mom and I fight so much and will we ever get along? I started the year out by deciding that I was bisexual, but now that I really see how the life style really is I would rather be straight. I am somewhat scared to leave home, but then again I’m ready to get the heck out of here. I still can not forgive myself for the mistakes I’ve made, but they tell me over time it will heal. For most people this would be a living hell but I’m happy because I made it to this point in life, I beat the odds. Most people in my life counted me out, at my eight grade graduation they said that I would never make it to this point in my life. Well this is for those people “I PROVED YOU WRONG,” I’m going to graduate. I don’t plan on stopping at high school I want to get a degree so that I can give back to the kids that are in my position. Next year school year I will be going to Arizona State University, I am excited. I plan to go in to the computer science program they have there. I consider myself capable of doing anything I put my mind to. I know that in my last couple of years in high school my focus has been completely out of whack. I have not been doing the things I know need to get done, and I have suffered the consequences of that. Many teachers have given me a second chance and I am so grateful to them for that. So now I have made another promise to myself, and I plan to keep it this time. I am going to finish this year out good. Then go on to college and graduate with my degree. I know that this is going to take some discipline and hard work but I am willing to take on the challenge. Over the past four years I have truly become the “Real” Kiera Lee. I can say that I see many things in a different light. I didn’t listen to the older people that told me about some of the things I could have avoided, but now I’m the person trying to tell the younger kids some of the things they need to avoid. Even though I fight with my mom I am so grateful for her not giving up on me, and not kicking me to the curb. Right now I am evaluating everything in my life and trying to become a better person; forgiving the people that hurt me and also forgiving myself, So that I can put my past behind me and move on with my life.