So John Mayer's "Say" currently my new favorite song! I think the lyrics are words to live by. To many time I have held back and miss the opportunity to say what needs to be said. So I am making a vow to say everything that needs to be said no matter how scared, ashamed, ridiculous I feel. I think everyone should learn from this song, life is short say what needs to be said before you don't have the chance to do so.

It's 4am and I should really be sleep... but I'm not. Life is a little different now and I am start to reevaluate a lot of things.

One being my life goals.
I am 21 years old and on Tuesday I will receive my drivers license, I have known how to drive since the age of 15 but lack of dedication and motivation and fear of failure have delayed the process. This definitely something I need to work on, I often get lazy and do not follow through. School is not going as planned but I have to finish I have to prove to myself that I can do this. As for my love life things are at a standstill I am stuck between what I want, what I need, and what I can have. I have decided that marriage is a road I'm willing to take, but as for children I'm not completely sold on the idea yet.

Two being my living situation

As much as I love being on my own. At home might be where I need to be right now. My little sister just had a baby and I know times are rough for her right now. I know that I am a big help around here but on the other hand I am in desperate need for independence and freedom. I don't want to continue to be a crutch to them. Plus staying home would allow me to see Baby Bridgette grow up.

Three being relationships

I MISS MY BEST FRIEND!!!! I know that we talk to each other but its not the same without her. My father has let me down again and I have decide to just let him go. I will cry when he leaves this earth but I have my own life that I need to build before I help him repair his. My mom... my mommy. I know she love me but the fighting is just sometimes too much. I want her to see me as an adult, I want her to treat me like an adult. I just want to get along and not have to defend myself every time I say something.